Shinobu Chin In Wonderland
by PinkBlackWhite
Summary: Shinobu's cabbage got snatched away! What does he do when he's confronted by a strange, freaky world? Like it, Hate it, Rate it! rated T for safety.
1. Fuyuhiko the door!

**A/N: It's Pinkblackwhite, the person who wrote Let's Get Chibi! ^^ totally inspired by my old story, I'm writing this one now. This means I'll be slower updating, though. But hey, I have the holidays!**

**Sorry, but I don't know much about shinobu T^T can someone give some pointers?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica, Junai Romantica, or Alice in Wonderland. **

Shinobu walked out of the super market to get a taxi.

"I hope Miyagi would be happy... I got some nice cabbage today! They're really fresh!" thus saying, Shinobu opened his bag to inspect the good cabbage he got today.

Suddenly, a red sportscar drove up to him. The window rolled down to reveal a silver haired man wearing some weird hat with rabbit ears poking up from it. He kept checking his watch.

"Holy shit, I'm late! I'm really, really late." He grabbed Shinobu's cabbage, rolled down the windows, and hit the accelerators. The tyres squealed, and smoke drifted up, then the red sportscar sped off.

Shinobu blinked a couple times, then glanced at the empty grocery bag. _WTF?_ A cloud of red passed over his pale face.

"NOBODY STEALS MY CABBAGE!" He jumped in front of a taxi, and it squealed to a stop. He yanked open the passenger door, and yelled to the driver, "Follow that red sportscar!"

The bewildered cabby just followed orders. This kid was unhinged!

Strangely, the roads were empty tonight. Not a single car in sight, save for the red sportscar that held Shinobu's precious cabbage. The car veered off to the right, and the cab followed in hot pursuit. A big building came up front. _Marukawa Publishing._ The silver haired-bunny-mutant got off, with Shinobu's cabbage!

Shinobu took some cash and shoved it at the driver. "keep the change."

He ran off, determined to catch up. Unfortunately, the bunny mutant had longer legs, and got into the building faster. Shinobu quickened his pace, and rushed through the building's automatic doors.

The bunny man was inside an elevator. Just when the doors closed, Shinobu got hold of the doors. When the doors re-opened, the rabbit man was already gone.

Shinobu stepped inside the elevator, inspecting the walls. His attention was brought to the buttons, which had 7 floors. _Level 1,2,3,4,5,6... and...Level W? _Curious, Shinobu pressed the big W button. And instantly...

FWOOSH!

The floors disappeared beneath him, as if a trap door was opened. Shinobu tumbled, and panic got hold of him. Suddenly, he stopped falling, and started... well, floating!

Objects appeared around him. A book, titled _Junai Romantica, _depicted two men in front.

_Huh. A BL novel._ Shinobu vaguely remembered catching his elder sister, Risako, reading a book like that.

A deck of cards fanned themselves around him. Distantly, a grandfather clock chimed. Rocking chairs floated under him, and he sat on it.

"Wow. It's as if my ass is being cushioned..." Then he noticed the blue dress he was wearing, along with a white apron. His shoes were replaced by black mary janes.

"What the hell?" Where did his uniform go?

Suddenly, the rocking chair stopped rocking. Shinobu looked down and saw that he had landed. He got up and found that he was in some big fireplace of a room. He ducked out, and trodded across the tiled checkerboard floor, unsure what to think.

"holy shit, I'm damn late!"

Shinobu caught sight of the bunny man. Before he could call out, though, the bunny man had went through a door.

Shinobu sighed. He walked across the big room and to the door. He was just about to touch the doorknob** (LOL! Ohmygod, is this suggestive or what? -.-; swt)** when a voice shouted "Oi, you! Don't touch that!"

Shinobu looked up, and jumped when he saw an old man's face on the wood of the door. What shocked him more was that the face was talking to him!

"HOLY—"

"Don't patronize your elders, young man! Anyway, wanna see my bear woodcarvings?" The man/door gestured to a bunch of bear woodcarvings, which had strangely arranged themselves across the floor.

"No thanks old man. I need to get my cabbage. Now move."

Fuyuhiko shook his head and swung himself of the door hinges. _Kids these days. Absolutely no manners..._

Shinobu took a step forward, into the mysterious world that lay beyond that man/door.

**A/N: Lolz! Don't think perverted thoughts at the doorknob part! I swear, it wasn't supposed to be anything sick!**


	2. Risatwins!

**A/N: phew, finished Let's Get Chibi today. ^^ **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica or Alice in Wonderland.**

Shinobu walked through the man/door to a forest path. The trees were really tall, so he couldn't see anything. After walking for a looooong time, he sat down on a log. His ash blond hair was slick with sweat.

"Damn, dresses are so hot."

"Then take it off!"

Shinobu, startled, jumped off the log. He hadn't noticed anyone in the forest but him. He looked all over, but still he couldn't see anybody.

"Shit, this is creepy. Better get a move on." He was about to walk away but was stopped by the person in front of him. Or rather the _people _in front of him.

"Risako?"

His sister was there... with his sister? There were two Risakos. What the hell? Did he have a second older sister no one told him about? Separation by birth?

"What is a Risako?" the Risakos said.

"Em... aren't you guys Risako?"

"No. We are Risa-dum and Risa-dee!" and the two girls giggled.

"Uh.. okay... well, which is which?" Shinobu said.

"It doesn't matter! We aren't _that Risa-dum _or _that Risa-dee, _we are _that Risa-dum and Risa-dee!!!"_ thus saying the girls burst out into peals of laughter.

Shinobu was getting the creeps. Having one Risako was already difficult, but two is really out of the question.

"Uh-huh... well, nee-sa—I mean, Risa-dum and Risa-dee, I'll be going now... need to get my cabbage."

"WAIT! Don't you wanna hear a poem?"

"No, I don't."

The two girls tugged Shinobu down. "Yes, you do!

_Risa-dum and Risa-dee_

_Agreed to play a game_

_They had fun and laughed with glee_

_As they hit the old dame."_

Shinobu shuddered. The devils!

But they weren't finished yet.

"_We, as the Risa-twins_

_Chortled and giggled,_

_And resumed our sins,_

_Guffawing all the way..."_

As they recited the wicked poem, they seemed to get more hysterical with laughter.

Shinobu inched away from his lunatic sisters. Man, they looked creepy.

Time to que the exit!

Shinobu made a dash for the forest path, leaving his two older sisters slapping their thighs with laughter.

**A/N: okay, psycho chapter. But they're short, so they really can pass time well!**

**Sorry for the sucky, evil poem.**


	3. Rose Garden: Rosaki!

**A/N: Okay, I'm officially becoming random. -.- This chapter may be a bit ShinobuxMisaki. Flames will be put out. ^^**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica or Alice in Wonderland.**

Once Shinobu was fairly sure that he was far, far away from his psycho sisters, he stopped running.

Where was he now? He wasn't in a forest anymore, he could tell. There were a lot of flowers... a garden?

"Mmm..."

Shinobu jumped. _There's someone here too??? _He tried to find the source of the sound, but couldn't find anybody.

"E-excuse me, but who are you?"

Shinobu looked to his side. There was a huge rose bush there. Roses of every colours roses can have were growing on it. On the biggest rose of all, there was a person on it. Tentatively, he crept closer.

The person was rubbing his eyes (obviously he had just woke up), and he was dressed in white, but he was adorned with red roses. Rose choker, rose anklet, rose bracelets... he had a rose pinned on his shirt.

_Beautiful... _Shinobu thought. "You're beautiful."

The rose person blushed, just like roses were blooming on his face . "H-hah? Don't say that when we just met!"

"What? It's true!"

The rose person blushed harder. "What's your name?"

"I'm Takatsuki Shinobu. What's yours?"

"I'm Misaki. What kind of flower are you? You have no petals," Misaki scrutinized Shinobu's dress. Misaki sniffed the air daintily. "And you have no fragrance."

"Flower? I'm not a flower!"

"Eh? I've never met anyone who is not a flower!"

"That means you're not the only one?"

"Of course not! This entire garden is full of flowers like me."

Shinobu looked around. The roses, which had been buds, now unfurled their petals. Unlike Misaki the Rose Person, the roses had faces on them. They were greeting each other with calls of "Good Morning!"

"Ah, Misaki-kun! Who is this strange flower? He is most extraordinarily scrawny."

At this Shinobu glared at the rose who spoke up, effectively silencing it.

"He claims he is not a flower."

"Not a flower? My, my! Is he a weed, then?" asked another rose. " Hey, Lily! Check this guy out!" A nearby plant started unfurling.

"I'm not a plant, idiots!" yelled Shinobu.

"Hmph! How rude!"

"You guys are the rude ones!"

By now, the confrontation between Shinobu and the Roses had woke up quite a lot of flowers, and they in turn started opening their buds. Exclamations arose when they saw Shinobu.

Misaki, feeling guilty for bringing all the attention to Shinobu, jumped down from the rose he was resting on. Shinobu looked like he was in danger of bursting from anger.

"Hai, hai! Everyone can go back to sleep! I'll escort Shinobu-kun out."

Misaki took Shinobu by the arm and walked towards the exit, out from the flowers' insults.

"I apologize for that! Oh, I'm so, so sorry." Said a flustered Misaki, once they were out of earshot. His face seemed to be blushing even harder.

"Hey, don't sweat it. Anyone would freak if they saw someone not of their kind..." Shinobu grimaced as he thought of the bunny mutant that stole his cabbage and the man/door.

"Oh, even I live with the flowers all my life, and sometimes they would point at me and say how weird I am." Misaki laughed uncomfortably.

"What? Aren't you a flower?"

"I am! Just a little different... I guess..." Misaki made a sad face. "Well, maybe not. But I believe I am, so that I can feel like I fit in with the flowers."

"Why don't you start hanging with people like you?"

"I don't know any world outside of the garden. You're the first person that looks like me. The Roses said they woke up and found me on the big red rose, so they don't know what I am. They took me as their own."

"huh. They don't seem like the type to accept differences."

Misaki chuckled a bit. "They just woke up, so they're a little grumpy, I guess."

They walked for a bit in companiable silence. When Misaki stopped, he had on a sad smile on his face.

" Just walk straight for a while, and you'll be out in no time. I wish I could get to know you better."

Shinobu hesitated, before saying "Hey, uh, Misaki?"

"Yes?"

"If you want to, would you like to come with me to help me find my cabbage? You can find out a lot more of the world outside the garden."

Misaki had on a delighted expression. "Of course! I'd always wanted to, but was too scared to go by myself."

Shinobu grinned. He liked Misaki. He seemed to be the only person Shinobu met today who wasn't psycho or mutated, nor was he a cabbage thief.

**A/N: Did you like it? It's really OOC! Damn! Misaki is nice to other people, is only resistant to Usagi-san. (A yandere, maybe...? Wait, yandere doesn't work like that.)**

**REVIEW! Next chapter: The Shisha Caterpillar.**


	4. The Shishah Caterpillar That Laughed

**A/N: Aww... I shoulda named Misaki 'Rosaki' in the past chapter. TOO LATE! =D**

**THE SHISHAH CATERPILLAR!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica or Alice in Wonderland.**

* * *

Misaki's sun kissed hair has a strawberry tint to it, and his eyes were as green as the leaves of the rose he was sitting on when Shinobu first met him.

This was what Takatsuki Shinobu, who recently made a friend in this crazy world he stumbled into while chasing after a cabbage thief, noticed.

Misaki's tanned skin was glowing a happy rosy pink** (god, Misaki is soooo pink)**, and he was humming a soft tune.

_Twas' true_

_It grew_

_That beautiful green garden_

_That blooming flowers' den_

_Ah, winter's snow_

_It melts so slow..._

Shinobu wasn't very sure where they were, where they were going, or what they were going to do. He needed his damn cabbage back! Miyagi would be worri-

Hey, that fluffy thing looks strangely like an M. The M shaped cloud dissipated too soon for it to be a cloud...

_Smoke? Is there a fire?_

Misaki seemed to notice it too. "Shinobu, do you want to see what's going on there?"

"uh...yeah. Let's go."

The two boys had to separate some tall grasses to get to the place where the smoke was coming from. After a while of pushing through grass, they saw a big mushroom in a small clearing. There was someone sitting on the mushroom.

"MIYAGI?!"

Shinobu's jaw was practically on the ground. There Miyagi was, puffing away on a hookah pipe, wearing a... caterpillar suit?

Misaki stared confusedly at Shinobu. "Shinobu-kun, do you know this caterpillar?"

"KNOW him? He's my lover!"

Misaki didn't respond. Shinobu looked at him. Misaki wasn't going _Say What? _Over the fact that Shinobu had just said he was gay. Rather, Misaki stared, entranced at the smoke puffing out from Miyagi's lips.

"And just _who_ _are you?"_ as Miyagi said the last three words, the smoke he was puffing seemed to contort, taking shapes.

No, not shapes, Shinobu thought. Letters. An _O, _an _R, _and a _U._

Whoa. When did Miyagi learn to do _that?_ It looked freaking cool!

Misaki nudged Shinobu, and when Shinobu gave him a _What? _Look, he mouthed the words _Answer _at him. Shinobu cleared his throat. Man, this was second-hand smoking.

"Don't joke, Miyagi! You know who I am!"

Miyagi just took a deep pull from the pipe, then breathed "No," the letters puffed out, "I don't"

Shinobu sighed, then said "Fine, If you're going to be that way. Anyway, I have to cook tonight's cabbage, and someone took it. Have you seen a tall guy, silver hair, wearing some bunny hat? He kept saying he was late for something."

At this, Misaki seemed to blush very, very, hard. Shinobu looked over at him. "what?"

Misaki said, embarrassed, "That damn Usagi... I know him. He comes by often."

"But I thought you said I was the first person you met who isn't a flower?"

Misaki made an ahem sound. "I lied." And he looked down guiltily. His face was burning like a setting sun. He was playing with his fingers.

Shinobu recognized that look. He often saw it on girls' faces on Valentine's Day when they were offering him chocolate.

Blushing – check.

Fidgeting – check.

Avoiding people's gazes by looking away – check.

_Oooh..._ Shinobu thought.

"Misaki, you have a crush on that bunny mutant, don't you?"

Misaki's eyes snapped wide open. "WHAT? OF COURSE NOT! WHERE DID YOU GET THAT FROM?" and he added a sentence behind, so softly Shinobu only heard part of it. "—not a bunny mutant. He's Usagi-san."

Flustered – check.

He caught Misaki's face between his palms and tilted it up. "Admit it!"

Shy, innocent Misaki snapped back with a "WHY WOULD I LIKE THAT IDIOT USAGI? HE ALWAYS DOES PERVERTED THINGS TO ME!!!" As if realising what he said, he clapped a hand over his mouth and blushed harder than ever.

"So, you're not as innocent as you make to be..." Shinobu narrowed his eyes.

"Eh? Ahaha... there I go, talking nonsense again." Misaki looked away from Shinobu's scrutiny.

Miyagi was rocking with laughter. The smoke that came out from his mouth was purple, and with each chuckle he let out, a smiley face of smoke puffed out.

He laughed harder, and the smoke came out thicker, so thick that it covered him completely.

When the smoke cleared, Miyagi was gone.

"What the- MIYAGI!?" Shinobu called out. He never knew Miyagi had some Houdini Mad Magic skills up his sleeves!

"Oi, Misaki-chin, Shinobu-chin!"

The two boys looked up. Miyagi was flying in the sky... with butterfly wings!

Misaki and Shinobu cracked up.

"BWAHAHA! OH MY GOD, MIYAGI'S A PRETTY BUTTERFLY NOW!" Shinobu made a little flappy-wing gesture, and then bent over and slapped his knees, roaring with laughter.

Misaki was giggling like mad and was clutching his stomach, tears erupting from his eyes. Slowly, he dropped to the floor and started pounding the ground with his fists. He and Shinobu ended up rolling on the ground.

Miyagi swooped down, and like an angry hurricane, bent down and pulled Misaki and Shinobu's ears. The two boys were still laughing, though, and this irritated him further.

"OI, YOU TWO! STOP LAUGHING LIKE MANIACS!"

The boys stopped. They opened their tightly squeezed eyes, took one look at Miyagi and cracked up again.

Miyagi sighed, and flew away.

After a long, long time, Shinobu and Misaki's giggles ebbed away. They were hiccupping now, grins still plastered on their faces. They looked at each other and cracked up AGAIN.

*AHEM!!* I mean, they got off the floor. Suddenly, a voice called out, saying "Misaki."

The boys looked at the person who called Misaki's name. Shinobu froze.

"You..."

Usagi-san the cabbage thief was smirking, leaning on a nearby plant.

* * *

**A/N: Oh my god, this has got to be the most retarded chapter so far. xD Miyagi the butterfly! Holy shit! **

**Next chapter: Cheshire cat.**


	5. Meow: Cheshire Kitty!

**A/N: Man, I don't know why I still update. =/ May stop this soon until I find a bigger project.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica or Alice in Wonderland, nor do I own Harry Potter.**

The bunny mutant stood there, smirking.

"YOU JERK!" Shinobu yelled. "GIMME MY CABBAGE!"

He charged towards Usagi-san, but the bunny man dodged his attacks easily. The cabbage thief strolled over languidly to Misaki, who was trembling, and planted a big wet kiss on the rose boy's lips. Misaki immediately blushed all the way to his hairline.

"Oi! Stop harassing my friend!"

Usagi-san looked over his shoulder and smirked. "Why, I do this to him every day." To Misaki, he said, "I was looking for you in the garden, but I couldn't find you, you know? If you want to play tag, you should at least tell me first. It took me longer than it would have to catch you." After saying that, he nuzzled Misaki's neck, and Misaki blushed like crazy. His hand went up his shirt, and Misaki's breathing came out in heavy pants and gasps.

Shinobu, whose eyebrow was ticking, came over to break up their little make out session. This guy was really pissing him off!

"Okay, okay. Stop your PDA." (public display of affection)

Misaki whimpered, and Shinobu glared at him. Does Misaki actually _enjoy _getting his face sucked off by the freak?

"Hey kid." The bunny mutant spoke.

"What?" Shinobu sent him his best _Don't F*ck With Me_ glare.

"Were you looking for _this?" _Thus saying, he pulled out Shinobu's gloriously good and fresh cabbage. Shinobu gasped, and tried to snatch away the cabbage. Usagi-san dangled it in front of Shinobu, and Shinobu tried yet another unsuccessful swipe at it. Usagi-san chuckled, and put a halting palm at Shinobu's forehead to stop him from coming any closer.

"If you want it, come get it." The dirty little rabbit wrapped a possessive arm around Misaki's slender waist. "Until then, I'll be taking back my Misaki too. Go to the queen's court at three. Or else." He bent down and licked Misaki's earlobe. Catching it between his teeth, he began to suck at it. Misaki made a mewling sound, and his eyes showed an expression of desire and fear.

Sprinting off, with the cabbage _still in his hands, _the bunny looked at his watch one last time. "Shit! Now I'm really late!"

Shinobu was trembling with anger. Not only was the bastard stealing his cabbage, he was molesting his friend too! Shinobu did not like the way he had looked at Misaki, like Misaki was a tasty treat to supplement his perverted hungers. Shinobu could almost imagine the guy licking his lips and devouring the boy, playing with him and doing..._things..._to him, each of them making Misaki moan... and Shinobu did NOT want to think about this!

He had to save poor Misaki! The bunny dude said something about a queen's court...

Shinobu started walking from the clearing. He should find someone to help him soon...

Wow, look at that tree! It's purple! And that one's blue!

Shinobu stopped to look at the colourful trees. They had signs on them.

_Vegas... Monte Carlos..._Gambling dens?

_Toilets for Transvestites...Hogwarts School Of WitchCraft and Wizardry..._

What the hell? Oh look! That sign over there says Hell! Does it really lead to hell?

"Purrrr...Why hello there, boy..." a sly voice cooed.

Shinobu looked up. There was a grinning person there, and he was wearing... some stripy kitty cat costume that looked like it came from a kink shop.

"Uh... hi... Isaka The Cheshire Cat..."

The cat-costumed person sat up straight. "How did you know my name?"

Shinobu blinked, and replied, "It says so right there." He pointed a finger on a blinking neon sign, which was under the branch Isaka was sitting on. The sign was flashing, and it said in bold letters, ISAKA THE CHESHIRE CAT. The sign had an arrow pointing at the cat person.

Isaka coughed, embarrassed. "Damn billboards." He muttered. Then his voice became sly again. "So, boy, what are you doing here?" He purred.

"I have to save my friend. Do you know where the queen's court is?"

"Oh, yes, of course I know...Or maybe I don't?" he teased.

"Don't what?"

"Don't know."

"Don't know what?"

"I said I don't know where the queen's court is."

"But you just said you know."

"I _knew _where it was."

"That means it moved?"

"No, it didn't."

"Then you know where it is?"

"I said I may, or may not know where it is."

The two people stopped to stare at each other. This confusing conversation was going absolutely nowhere. A few long minutes of awkward silence passed.

"Anyway," Shinobu said. "Tell me where the queen's court is."

"Well, why don't you ask the Mad Hatter? I heard he's having the March Hare over for tea..." Isaka purred.

"But why not ask you? You know, right?"

"I don't. Or do I?"

Shinobu rolled his eyes. It's pointless talking to retards like this. "Okay, okay."

"Okay what?"

"Okay, you, tell me where the damn Hatter is."

Isaka pointed a lazy finger. "That way." Then he did something that Shinobu did not expect. He disappeared, and then reappeared by the side of the trunk. "Just so you know, he's completely cuckoo."

"Like you."

"We all are." Then Isaka slowly faded away, all except his grin, which stretched wider.

Shinobu came up to the set of teeth, and knocked at it, hard, with his fist. "Damn pedestrians."

Isaka became visible again, and his nose was bleeding. "Ow! Kid! That was unnecessary!" A few teeth tumbled out from his grin.

"Go get yourself a damn dentist appointment and fix that mouth of yours!" Shinobu huffed, and stomped off.

"You're crazy, kid, you're crazy!"

**A/N: Another random chapter. Gawd, this is a waste of time. =.= should start updating Love Bullets more.**


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